Decay On Net: Surcharge can resolve every single issue

Our great leader has spoken again. This time, they decide to resolve the long standing issue on the supply and demand of taxi. It is about time they address this issue. There has been lots of complaint on errant drivers who refuse to pick up passengers. MP Seng Han Thong, who is also the adviser to the six-affiliate Taxi Operators' Association suggested:-

Taxi companies need to impose surcharges at taxi stands in the CBD (central business district) and Orchard Road areas during peak hours, and at lobbies of hotels, major tourist attractions and nightspots. Only location surcharges can address the problem of balancing the demand and supply of taxi services at specific places and time, while allowing taxis to charge a more affordable rate at other places such as HDB estates and neighbourhood shopping malls.

*worship our great leader*

This is indeed a great solution to our suffering. Add surcharge. Why didn’t anyone think of that earlier? Look, adding surcharge can ensure that the demand for taxi at key places can be met. Isn’t that great? Suddenly I feel that I’ll never have any worries when trying to get a taxi.

In fact, our great leader has just shown us that surcharge can resolve every single issue in life.

Imagine the following:-

Not enough taxi at key location? Impose location surcharge.
Not enough taxi during peak hour? Impose peak hour surcharge.
Too many cars on the road? Impose road usage surcharge. (aka ERP)
Too crowded on Train during peak hour? Impose train peak hour surcharge.
Not enough seats on train? Impose train seat surcharge.
Not enough buses on the road? Impose bus surcharge.
Bus badly maintained? Impose bus maintenance surcharge.
Lift too dirty? Impose lift surcharge.
Toilet too dirty? Impose toilet surcharge.
Birth rate dropping? Impose childless surcharge.
Aging workforce? Impose retirement surcharge.
Orchard road too crowded? Impose shopping surcharge.
Too many people queuing for donut? Impose queue surcharge.
Cost of living gone up? Impose cost of living surcharge.
Power consumption gone up? Impose power surcharge.
Water supply running low? Impose water surcharge.
Too much air pollution? Impose breathing surcharge.
Too much noise pollution? Impose talking surcharge.
Too many people farting? Impose fart surcharge.

In fact, all the ministries can do a generic solution for our daily problems:
Impose *insert fancy name* surcharge.

Look at the wonderful things that surcharge can do. It can truly do wonders. I’m sure that the taxi issue will be fully resolved once the location surcharge kicks in. If not, we can always add more surcharge until the problem has been resolve. Remember, everything can be resolved using surcharge.

Indeed a wise leader. No wonder we are paying them so much money.

Labels: DK's Evil Twin