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Sunday, April 30, 2006

Procrastinator's creed

One last assignment for this semester before the exams.

Lost my momentum quite some time ago, and haven't found it back. Its time to hit that panic button again. Provided that the button is still working. I've been hitting that button too many times.

I procrastinate too much. I should be enjoying this long weekend. Argh. I thought nobody would ask me out this long weekend, that why I push the assignment to this week. But someone ask me out at the last minute. Cannot go, cannot go. I got assignment to do. Don't tempt me with all those emails.

Couldn't believe that you are having so much fun out there and I'm here doing my assignment.

Ok, back to the assignment.

I'm going to burn this procrastinator's creed.... maybe tomorrow... or next semester.... or... errr... damn... I'm procrastinating again....

PROCRASTINATOR'S CREED
I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.

If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.

I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.

I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.

What do your MPs do when there is a walkover?

Have you ever wonder what your MPs are doing when your GRC has a walkover?

Not really. When you read the news, you'll see lots of news about the candidate making their rounds at wetmarket or houses. And I don't hear anything around my area. Yes, we having walkover here, does that mean you can ignore us?

Last heard that Lim Boon Heng is going Chu Chu Kang to support Gan Kim Yong. Tharman Shanmugaratnam is helping out with the party political broadcast. Not sure about the rest. Wait, I don't even remember the name of the other 3 MP in my ward.

What about the residents of Jurong GRC? We may have walkover, but does that means you can just ignore us? No walkabout? No house to house visit?

Oh well..... be glad that we still get our Progressive Package money despite living in a walkover GRC.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Crime Library told to remove missing person's posters

Was reading yesterday's newspaper when I saw an article saying that LTA has asked Crime Library to remove the missing person's posters that their volunteers put up at bus stop and walkways. Crime library could face a fine of $2000 if the posters are not removed.

Crime library is a non-profit organisation. It is doing the public a service by posting pictures of missing person, hoping that they could be found and reunited with their family. Why can't the law be relaxed on them?

The LTA spokeperson said that the "illegal advertisements" may also obstruct passerby or distract driver and pose a safety hazard.

Distraction to driver? Safety hazard? Hmmm.....

Campaigning starts as volunteers rush to hang up banners, posters

Over at Aljunied GRC, PAP volunteers were busy hanging nearly 3,000 posters at places identified as having the highest human traffic - such as main roads, traffic junctions and bus stops.


I guess it is quite dangerous to drive from now till election is over.

Walkover

And we walk to the left, and we walk to the right
and we walk, and we walk all night
with a heel and a toe, and a half turn around
with a heel and a toe and a new friend found


Finally reach the legal age to vote. I missed the cut of by 1 month during the last elections. So I thought I can finally exercise my rights as a citizen of Singapore.

I was wrong. No opposition party came to contest my GRC. I couldn't believe it. We have no big shots here. Why nobody wants to come?

I hate walkover. Wonder if I'll ever get to vote in my lifetime.

And some voters from Thailand can still tear their ballot paper!!!
HELLO!! I want to vote also cannot. You can vote, yet you tear your ballot paper!!! Don't want to vote then give me lah!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Crappy module selection

This is so so F**K up....

Last year, when the school announce that they are going to convert from 1 semester per yr to 2 semester per year, I was very happy. It means that I can actually finish my course 6 month ahead of what is planned if I squeeze my modules abit. The workload is going to be heavy if I try to squeese everything together, but the chance of able to finish everything 6mth earlier is worth the effort.

So I selected 2 modules for the 1st semester of 2006. It was a tough year as everything is jam packed.

Then come the module selection for 2nd semester of 2006. I need to complete 4 more modules to finish my part time degree course. Then the shock came. 3 of the modules that I need to take are NOT AVAILABLE for 2nd semester!!! I stare at the screen. I have nothing to say.

This means, I can't finish my degree course 6mth earlier as we can only take max 2 modules per semester. And this also means I'll be taking 1 module for the next semester.

Imagine.... Me clicking on the module selection webpage and only see 1 course for me to choose. and I actually got 4 modules more to go.....

This is so F**K up. Ever since they change the semester system, everything is in a mess. Argh.... Will only get my degree at end of 2007. Damn....

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Camera in hospital

Ok, I procrastinated for too long. Finally send my Canon Ixus 400 to repair. It has been spoilt for couple of months. The switch to select between camera mode and preview mode is faulty. I have been delaying the repair because I don't really need the camera lately. Who needs a digital camera when your handphone is 2megapixel? Haha

Hong Jia recommend me this place call Camera Hospital. Its somewhere near paradiz centre. It is a very small shop that just do camera repair.

The guy took a look at my Camera and ask "You drop the camera before?". Nope. I didn't. The the guy show me a spilt between the camera and said this could only be cause by dropping. Hmm.... the last person who use the camera is my sister....

So I gave my sis a call.

Me: YOU DROP THE CAMERA HUH?!?!?!
Sis: Eeerrr....
Me: Wah ciao, drop camera don't say!
Sis: I didn't tell u meh? Hehe

Suddenly, everything start to make sense. She offered to pay for the repair the moment I told her the camera is faulty. No wonder she so good. So she is the one who cause the damange. CHEY....

Anyway, the guy said he need 2 days to repair the camera. Need to replace a chip inside the camera.

Crossroad

Why is it that everytime after making up my mind, someone will surely come along and derail me again?

Received a call from a ex-colleague on Friday night. He has a lobang for me. A headhunter approach him and offered him a job. But he is quite happy with his current job now. So the headhunter ask if he know anyone suitable for the job and he recommended me.

Its nice to know that someone actually thinks of you when they have a job offer on hand. It is like a confirmation that you are good in your job. But his phone call set me thinking.... Should I give it a try? After all, my mind is more or less set at staying on for another year.

I look at the requirements for the job. I didn't meet some of the requirements. But heck, who cares? The pay seems good. There is a need to travel overseas sometimes. The only think I don't like is that you need to be able to provide support to client 24/7.

Someone's comment set me into another deep thinking. "What do you want in a job?"

Few weeks back, I wanted career advancement and good learning opportunities. I wasn't much bothered by the pay. (in fact, I even thought of going jobless for a few months) I wouldn't mind traveling oversea. In fact, I would love to travel oversea.

That was few weeks ago. Thinks have changed slightly.
I still wanted career advancement and learning opportunities. But I also wanted money. Lots of them. (Who doesn't anyway?) And I don't really feel like traveling oversea now.... unless it is short terms.

I don't know. There is no such thing as best of both worlds. Surely there will be some stuff that you don't like bundled together. I think there should be some give and take.

Maybe I'll update my resume and see my market worth.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Test Simi??

Ok, this is another work rant.....

The stuff I'm doing at my new sub team is slightly different from what I was doing in my previous sub team. The biggest different is the process. In my old sub team, our codings usually went thru only 1 group of external testers. These external testers are "quite good" at testing. Although I don't really like their teamlead. But anyway, they are quite good at testing.

But at the new sub team, our coding went thru 2 groups of tester. 1 is group is internal tester and the other groups is the external tester. Basically, they are testing the same stuff. And before giving the tester the codes, I would have already done 1 set of testing myself too. While I see the need for the external tester, I really don't know why the heck do we need those internal tester. They are testing the same thing as the external tester.

Actually, I wouldn't mind too much if the internal testers are as good as the external ones..... but they are not. I seriously don't know what are they testing. Firstly, they mess up the testing scenarios. Pumping in tons of messy data which make verifications difficult. Those scenarios are near impossible to get in real business world. Anyway, its ok for messy scenarios. The main problem is, they don't know how to verify if the testing is correct or wrong.

I repeat again..... The internal tester don't know how to verify if the testing results is correct or wrong. If that is the case, then what are you for? All they need to do is to pump in data to my codes and generate the results. Then they print out the records and come to ask me if it is correct or not. So I need to waste 2 hours of my time doing the checking and teaching them how to check if the results are correct or wrong. Might as well save it and let me do the testing myself.

Seriously, it is very easy to pump in data. The hard part is to verify that the results and do the first level investigation. They can't even verify the results, how are they going to do investigation. WHY do we need a group of degree holder internal testers when all they know is how to pump in data? I don't need a degree holder to pump in data. This kind of job is for O level holders. ANY tom, dick or harry can do that. We need someone who can verify the results and do investigations.

And the whole team of internal tester can't do that.

After that 2 hour session, I wanted to ask him 1 question..... "Then you test simi?" All you do is pump in data only. I'm the 1 who verify the results. I'm the 1 who do the 1st level verifications. What were you doing?

Friday, April 21, 2006

Bo Zheng Hu LOR!!!

Bo Zheng Hu Lor!!! (No government already!!!)

The Parliament has been dissolved. Nomination Day is on 27 Apr. Elections will be on 6 May.

Wait. Does that no political related topic in blogging? Damn. I wanted to blog something about politics this weekend. Argh.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

A roof you cannot afford

Just had a senseless argument with my dad. Don't know what is wrong with him.

For no reason, my dad suddenly ask me if I want to be a slave for a new house. He wanted to sell off the current house and upgrade. We are living in a 4 room flat. He is not thinking of 5 room or EC..... He is thinking of landed property. Crazy.

Lets get the background straight. I just started working 3 years ago. I'm holding a Diploma and doing part time Degree program. Dad has his own business but is not doing very well. Thus, he has not been taking pay from the company for quite some time.

Like that how to buy landed property? Even after selling off the current HDB flat, I still have to pay a lot of money every month. How do I get the money to pay the monthly installment with my current pay? And to add on, my dad bought a lot of insurance for me while I was still in school. Now that I'm working, I have to pay those insurance myself. And seriously, sometimes I wonder why I need so much insurance? I'm a analyst programmer. The only danger I have everyday is crossing the road and switching on the PC!

Maybe he was just day dreaming. I told him the reality and he doesn't seem happy that I spoilt his dream. What follows is a string of senseless argument. He was saying things like last time he also buy this house and feed 5 people in the family. Somemore his education level lower and earning lesser than what I'm earning now. And I don't need to feed anyone.

But he fail to see that the living standard in the past and now is different. Last time, $1.50 can buy a packet of chicken rice. He forgot that he don't have to pay insurance in the past. And our 4 room HDB flat can be paid by CPF. Landed property can meh? I don't know. And I don't have anyone to feed now, doesn't mean I forever don't have anyone to feed. So how do I have kids in the future if I have to slave myself to pay for a land property?

Did he ever think about these issue? And he is saying 船到桥头自然直. WHAT? You want me to buy something that we cannot afford now and struggle every month just to satify your dream? What if the boat doesn't go straight? What if I suddenly lose my job? What if I got some illness and need money for treatments?

This is perhaps 1 of the reason why some people go bankrupt. Buying something you cannot afford.

The argument slowly evolved to whether I capable of buying a HDB flat now. WTF. I just started working for 3 years. I can buy a HDB flat now, but I will need to struggle to support it. It is hard to support a flat alone. What for I go create such trouble for myself?

This is so senseless. Yes, we can daydream. But there is a time where reality sets in.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Free Cone Day!


Date: 25 Apr 2006
Time: 12Noon to 7pm
Venue:-
Great World City
United Square
Suntec City Mall
Singapore Zoo


Hmmm..... Should I take 1/2 day for free Ice Cream?

Crazy.... I'll go Ben n Jerry this weekend and buy some myself. Hahaha.

Not dead yet

Just having a severe writer block.

Assignment due on thursday. Still have alot not completed.
Exam is mid next month. Haven't study yet.
Backlog at work. Never seem to clear.
Haven't been doing much exercise lately. Chin up bar still down.


And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Blog Shares

My blog is on the stock market?

Look like something that can be easily faked. I can just create a lot of blog and link to myself and see my value go up..... haha....

So my blog cost $5,164.94 now.... Hmmm.... can exchange that for cash now? :D

Staying Together, Moving Ahead

So the PAP theme is not "Grow the economy, share the fruits" as what SM Goh said early this year. Maybe they are afraid that we voters will demand for peanuts and not fruits.

Anyway, the theme is "Staying Together, Moving Ahead".

Some of the key points of the manifesto.

Create opportunities for Singaporeans.
Give the young the best start.
Encourage every citizen to play a role.
Do more for lower income Singaporeans.
Help older Singaporeans to lead full and active lives.
Provide affordable healthcare for all.


I was laughing when reading those words on the newspaper just now.
They must be kidding me.....

Create opportunities for Singaporeans.
A young girl who is good at playing table tennis will ask:
"Do I have the opportunity to represent Singapore in commonwealth games and carry the national flag during the opening ceremony?"

Give the young the best start.
A poly student who just grad with average results will ask:
"Do I have the chance to study in NTU/NUS/SMU?"

Encourage every citizen to play a role.
A blogger who is interested in politics will ask:
"Can I blog about the politics of Singapore without fear of being invited to drink coffee?"

Do more for lower income Singaporeans.
A factory worker will ask:
"When will the govt revert the employer CPF contribution to 20%?"

Help older Singaporeans to lead full and active lives.
A senior citizen working in the fast food outlet will ask:
"When can I withdraw all my CPF money and retire peacefully?"

Provide affordable healthcare for all.
A man who just discovered that he has cancer will ask:
"How many percent of my medical bills can be paid by my Medisave?"

I'm already laughing before I started reading the Sunday comic sections.....

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Communication problem

Work been tiring lately. There are a lot of backlogs and many deadline to be met.
I'm totally new to some of the stuff that I'm currently doing. So have to keep checking the manual and stuff. And every now and then, someone will come ask me something.

And to add to the problem, I found that there are some communication problems between me and my new subteamlead. Or rather, there is no communications at all. Today is the 2nd time that he agreed to some changes with the requester without informing me. The previous case, I was in the CC list and I didn't notice that they agreed to the changes. I only found out about it after I finish my testing and send him my test results. End up have to edit my codes and re-test again.

I'm the one who is getting my hands dirty with the coding. If there is any changes, I need to be the first to know.

The same thing happen again today. Changed requirements with requester without informing me. And best of all, there isn't any email this time. He simply updated the requirement document in the shared LAN folder without informing me. What? You expect me to check the document every hour to see if you changed anything?

At least tell me verbally lah. I'm so near to your seat. Argh.....

There is really some small teamwork issue that I need to sort out with him. Really cannot work like this. I need to understand his working style and let him know my working style. Hopefully we can work better as times goes by.

First, he don't trust me in the beginning. Now we have communications problem.
Luckily he is my sub teamlead and not my gf....

Reserve a slot

I don't know how to express my current feelings usings words.........

So I'm reserving this slot until I've sort of settled down my feelings then write it down.

In the mean time, just treat it as I'm having a writer's block.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

五月天 - 明白

This is how I'm feeling now.

我矛盾的心 不愿反覆的猜
希望你能明白


Hope you will understand.....

Monday, April 10, 2006

被爱是幸福,爱人是痛苦

如果被爱是幸福,爱人是痛苦,那为什么我会笑着睡觉呢?

真是搞不懂。

Sunday, April 09, 2006

The unattainable acorn

Just came back from watching Ice Age 2: The Meltdown. Its a nice show for a good laugh.

The funniest moment is when Scrat the squirrel-rat is chasing that acorn and keep failing. Everyone laughs when he appears.

Actually, come to think of it, everyone has an acorn. An acorn that you desire so much and been trying so hard to reach it, yet you are always just a few inches away from it. Aiming for that impossible target and never give up. Just keep trying and trying.

There is an acorn in everyone.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Dark Waters

My block is having the lift upgrading stuff. Its good that they are doing the upgrading now so that the upgrade thingy will not be used as a bargaining chip during the coming elections. So regardless who won the elections for our GRC, I'll still have lift at my door steps. Cool huh? :D

Anyway, the workers were doing some stuff at the roof today doing some drilling and stuff. Think they are doing something to the water tank.

When I turn on the tap, I got this......



Doesn't it reminds you of dark water?
Yaks.... luckily we don't drink water straight from the tap.

WAIT A MIN!!!!
I don't remember inspecting the water before I brush my teeth. Is the water already dirty when I brush my teeth? Or is it dirty after I brush my teeth? I was half awake when I was brushing..... and I seriously cannot remember the colour of the water.... OH NO......

DAMN.... I'm going to brush my teeth again... this time with drinking water we boiled last night.

*GROSS OUT*

Thursday, April 06, 2006

人言可畏

I'm sick and tired of all the people talking, gossiping and teasing. There is a time when enough is enough. Doesn't anyone understand the meaning of 点到为止?

I'm actually quite thick skin towards this whole issue already. The amount of teasing has already reached beyond my threshold, yet I still try to remain calm and let you all carry on. In the past, I would had dig one hole and hide inside already. There come a time when everything should stop. I think it is now. All of you are older than me. Can't you all show some maturity?

And I've been enduring all your senseless teasing. I don't mind, cause I'm a guy. I tried my best to ignore all your teasing. But then she is a gal. How much embarrassment can she endure? Can't you guys just spare her from all your teasing? Come after me if you want to find someone to tease. Leave her alone.

I don't like the feeling of purposely not doing something to avoid her being teased by you people.

Its about time you people grow up.

Vex


Tag:

I should be in office doing OT, but I went for a jog cause I'm feeling vex.

Argh.....

Labels:

对人不对事

I think all of us have been guilty of doing this once in a while.

Perhaps I do it more often.

Few month ago, 1 guy from another team emailed me and ask if he could use 1 of our team's table in the database for him to store some data. My answer to him was a straight no. Actually, if I want, I can make special arrangement with him to share that table. But because I don't like that fellow, I said no.

If another come and ask me the same thing, I would had said yes and assisted that person.

There are also many times where I look at the person instead of the matter. I guess this is basic human instinct ba. If you treat me badly, why should I help you? On the other hand, if you are kind towards me, I'll go all the way out to help you if I can.

Of cos, being pretty helps too. :D

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Work Rant

Lets rant about work.

The error has been more or less fixed. Left with 1 part which is rather complicated to reverse the damage. Am no hurrying into this. Don't want to make any mistakes. Luckily for me, this portion is not that hurry and can afford to wait. So far so good.

Waiting for the case to be reported to the top management.

----------------
One of my colleague is on 2 weeks unpaid leave because of some medical condition. Our team is rather short handed. After some discussion with my sub-teamlead, my teamlead decide to "throw" part of her work to me. When he told me about this, I joked with him and asked "Is this my punishment for making that error?"

He replied "Oh, if you think it this way, then I won't feel so guilty passing you those stuff."

----------------
After transfering to the new sub-team, I took over some half completed job from the previous person in the team. She was transfered to another team. She kept everything in a LAN folder so that I can carry on the work. I was busy with fixing the error that I didn't really notice that 1 SQL insertion file is missing in the folder.

So I contacted her yesterday and ask her for that file. She say did some changes directly to the database and her SQL insertion file is no longer accurate. Then she ask me to go database extract the records.

WTF.... you want to hand over things, you hand over properly. Don't give me half F**K job.

-----------------
Sometimes I wonder if that woman is really stupid or just out to piss people off. China side send an email to her to ask her to coordinate some code insertions. The things need to be approved by director before 3pm or we cannot get the codes in. She was the coordinator when she was still in our team. Somehow, china side didn't know that she was transfered to another team and no longer doing the coordinating stuff. Since I was in the CC list, I replied to China side telling them that she is no longer in our team. I also forward the email to the person taking over the job, keeping that woman in the CC list.

At 7pm, she replied the email from China saying she is no longer doing the coordination job.

Ya right. Wait for you we all die liao.

-------------------
Helped a colleague with some stuff few days ago. Basically doing almost everything since he doesn't know much about it. So he replied the user with the results that I help him to get.

Found out from another colleague today that he also CC our teamlead in that reply. I'm not in the loop and not mentioned in the email. WTF. What is your purpose of keeping the teamlead in the loop? To get credits?

I don't mind if you don't keep me in the CC and don't thank me. I also don't mind if you don't tell the user or anyone that I help you get the results.

But I do mind if you want to get credits alone for things that I help you.

Do you think you deserves all the credits? If you feel that you deserves credits from teamlead for that job, the most basic thing is to give me the credits too when its due.

Me pissed.....

Making the best out of the worst

The deadline has passed. Sorry guys, I didn't resign. You all can cancel the celebration dinner and keep the champagne.

It took me quite some time to think of the next path I should take. There were a lot of factors that make me consider quitting. The huge error could had been the final straw. I even got the resign letter template from S.

But I choose to stay on in the end.

To quit is like escaping from reality. Every job has their ups and downs. Why quit just because you are experiencing some problems? I decide to stay on and face all the problem head on.

I think I can make the best out of the worst situtation.

It is just like having a packet of Bukit Timah Fried Carrot Cake in office on a Saturday afternoon.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Angry but not telling...

Have you ever been angry with someone, but didn't tell him/her about it?

I was chatting with someone over dinner few days ago when she told me that she was angry over someone regarding somethings. And she didn't told that guy that she is angry with him. In fact, the guy called her and she talked to him as usual.

I didn't what come to me, but my 1st respond to her was "Why you gals always does this?"

Perhaps I was a victim of such treatment in the past too. And I think I also did that to sometimes.

I remember roughly 1 year ago I did that to someone. So happen that she was also angry with me too. So the both of us didn't talk to each other for roughly 1 month because we were both angry. And we refuse to tell each other what went wrong and what we were angry about. So everything built up like a pressure cooker until it exploded one day.

Thinking back, its rather stupid to do such a thing. Why be angry with someone and not let the person know? In the end, they still lives their life as normal and you get angry without anyone knowing. And they will not do anything to make up for the mistake because they don't even know the problem in the 1st place.

Nowadays, I try to tell the person that I'm angry with them and the reason. At least when they die, they can still tell the staff downstair how and why they die.

Some people really deserves their awards

I read the news report on CNA with amazement.

Senior Minister of State for Information, Communications and the Arts Balaji Sadasivan added that streaming of videos during campaigning would also be prohibited.

He was addressing a question in Parliament on Monday about the use of new technologies on the internet during hustings.

Pictures of candidates, party histories and manifestos are on the "positive list" and are allowed to be used as election advertising on the internet.

Newer internet tools like podcasting do not fall within this "positive list".

I bet he will win that "Just shut up" Award again this year.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Who is there to save me?

While rushing to fix the error I've created, someone emailed me saying her team made an error too. They were lucky to spot their error earlier. The impact is not great too.

So I help them solve the error and prevent the error from reaching customer. Her boss send me a "big thank you email" when everything was done.

While I managed to save your team, nobody could save me. Sometimes, its sad to be at the bottom of the workflow. If someone make an error, the error data will reach my side and I might still be able to fix it before it reaches customer. If I make an error, who is there to save me?

Perhaps I should request to transfer to some team that is higher up the workflow.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Tea Chapter


Went to Tea Chapter on saturday after a heavy platter for 2 at Fish n Co.

I've heard of the place before, but never been there. We aren't even sure if its still around.

The place is very nice. Very peaceful and serene. We sat at the korean style seats. Didn't get to go up to the 3rd floor to see other style. But after looking at the picture in the website, I think korean style is the best.
I'm more of a coffee person. But the tea we had was great. Its call Imperial Golden Cassia. They said Queen Elizabeth drank that tea too when she visited the place in 1989.

Should visit that place again. Its a nice place to chill. Must choose the korean style sitting so that can stretch leg. Haha.

Rebuilding damaged ego

The past few days are not easy. Fought many internal battle with myself. Accepting the fact that I've once again created an error and broken all records. Yes, I'm once again the record holder for the biggest mistake. I was the holder of that record around 3 years ago when I just joined the company, but the record was broken by someone 2 years ago.

When you are in trouble, you start to see the true colours of people around u. I see how good my teamlead was. He was encouraging and didn't put any blame on me. My director was on the other end of the scale. I see colleagues coming forward to offer their assistance to help clean up the error. I turn them down because I don't want to trouble them. I turn them down because I want to rebuilt my ego myself.

There is one thing that I'm quite good at doing, and that is cleaning up error data. I've cleaned up countless error data. Some by china outsource staff, some by users, some by colleagues and some by myself. It is at least the last thing I think I can do correctly. And I decide to do it myself, without the help of anyone.

I still don't know what they going to do about it. The whole issue is surely going all the way to the top. Maybe I'll get fired. Maybe I'll get a warning letter from HR. Maybe they'll just let it pass with a warning to me. I don't know and I don't want to think too much.

I'm still thinking if it is time to quit the job. S has been very encouraging when he knows that I have intention to leave. He send me his resign letter for me as reference. All I need to do is to change the name, date and reason for leaving since he was from the same dept as me last time. He even send me a link in jobsdb that is employing people with experience with the stuff I'm currently doing. Thanks dude.

I'm starting to see a chance to perform in the new sub team. I don't know if I should hang on and see where this chance will lead me to. I'm still undecided.

And at my darkest moment, you are somewhere near me, reachable via msn, sms or email. You took my mind off the troubles and cheered me up. Although you think that you did nothing, but you never know how much impact you have on me. Thanks for being by my side at the moment when I needed you most.

How do you define love and like?

Someone ask me this, How do you define love and like?

Like = Xi Huan
Love = Ai.

The degree is different.
Love is when you think of the person everyday. When you want to give her the best. When you feel happy when she is around. When you are willing to do anything for her.

But isn't that the same as like?

I was struggling to give an answer. And after awhile, I came to realise that actually, there is no answer.

Love cannot be defined. It has no shape or actions. It has no sound or shadow.

Love is a feeling. A feeling that is hard to describe.
If it can be explained with few words, then it is no longer called love anymore.

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